Sarah and Zachary Brown - First Year of Marriage
During the first year of our marriage, my husband and I had to work hard to balance time to enjoy our own personal interests, while making an effort to learn about and enjoy each other’s interests. Zachary and I are about as different as couples come. We are the definition of opposites attract. When Zac and I went through our pre-marital sessions in the church, our personality types were the inverse of one another. At times our differences are frustrating and can create feelings of tension in our relationship. It has taken patience and a change in perception on both of our parts to be more caring, understanding partners.
I am active and get my energy from going to fitness classes. I like to cook and have an interest in living a healthy lifestyle. I am scheduled and get anxious when things go unexpectedly. I have even been known to start a landscaping project of a Friday evening.
Zac, on the other hand, is Mr. Chill. He loves to relax. He doesn’t let deadlines make him sweat. Zac doesn’t like to cook and loves pizza rolls and White Castle. Zac relaxes by watching TV, playing video games, or doing anything related to sports.
…I interrupt this marriage for FOOTBALL SEASON…
The biggest challenge in our differences of interests….SPORTS. Now, I know a lot of men like sports, but Zac LOVES sports. Sports video games, college basketball, NBA, college football, NFL, golf, MLB, hockey, and even ping pong! I am NOT much of a sports gal.
When Zac moved in, I did not have a working television. Zac quietly, but consistently made mention of the absence of his favorite thing. One of our biggest compromises is that we got cable TV so that Zac can enjoy his sports games. I try to make an effort to watch a game with Zac here and there, but most of the time I just make him nachos.
Zac has even talked me into being part of a fantasy football team. All 8 players on our team know that I am not a sports gal. However, instead of complaining, I chose to TRY. I looked up stats in the Wall Street Journal (which I have since learned, is not the best source for fantasy football) and made a list of players for my team. We just finished week 9 and I have shocked everyone in the league by taking the top spot. This not only gives me the biggest laugh, but makes my husband proud. He likes that I have taken an interest in something he loves so much.
The first year has taught me three main things. 1) Keep your interests and encourage your partner to do the same. 2) Invest effort into your partner’s interests so you can experience joy from witnessing your partner’s happiness. 3) Create new activities that you both enjoy. A healthy, strong marriage is staying true to yourself, while growing and learning as a couple.